Be the Change

I had one of those days yesterday where you question how effective you truly are at your job. When you realize that thinking you're on the same page as somebody and actually being there are two different things. I tried to reflect on my leadership skills to see where it is that I'm lacking...places where I could make change in order to be the leader I need to in order to move people forward. I often see the same struggle in the people around me: the technology mentor teachers that I work with and how discouraged they are when people don't show up for their professional development, or a technology integrator friend of mine who's struggling with administration right now in trying to get them to see what's really best for teachers. It's sometimes easy to get stuck when you feel like you're pulling people along instead of supporting people in their own desire to move forward. I questioned whether I had what it takes to even live in this role, and if I was able to actually dig down and find the part that told me I could, where do I go from there?

Recently, I've had several discussions about modeling the behavior we want to see. This needs to happen at all levels. If a teacher wants a student to be an effective listener, are they modeling that behavior when the students are talking to them, or are they distracted and thinking about 10 other things? If an administrator is asking a teacher to be a global collaborator, are they connecting with people on a global scale and modeling that behavior? We can't expect things out of people that we're not willing to do ourselves. After several lengthy discussions with a few members of my PLN, I came to the conclusion that I need to be the change that I want to see. If I want people be reflective and embrace growth, or if I expect people to be uncomfortable and learn, I better be willing to do those same things myself to show them that I'm walking the walk.

I can't preach change and stay stagnant myself and expect people to take me seriously.

Recently, my phenomenal mentor has challenged me to learn more about the back end of our technology department. My strength is instruction and teaching and curriculum and not networks and switches and routers. I balked when he first told me this. "I hate that stuff," I said.It made me uncomfortable because I didn't understand it. I honestly thought to myself how much of my brain power am I willing to allocate towards learning that. But, I set up some time with my network administrator and I'm slowly becoming familiar with that area. I don't particularly like it, and it makes me uncomfortable to be so unfamiliar with a large part of our department, but if I expect other people to grow and change, I need to have those same expectations for myself, especially when it's an area that I don't particularly like.

So, at a time when initiatives are plenty and I feel like there are many days where I'm not only not on the same page but possibly in a different book, I've decided to be the change that I want to see. I could give up and say that it's not possible to make change, but I'm going to choose the higher road and continue to model this attitude and behavior because in the end it's about the students and what's best for their learning, which alone is a good enough reason to make the effort.

#oneword for 2017: Relentless

I work on a school calendar. My year goes from September to June (I think July and August are in there somewhere), therefore when I create goals for myself they are initialized in early September. I don't make New Year's Resolutions. We are halfway through my year by then.

I do, however, love the #oneword trend, and after watching my PLN follow through on some of their one words from last year, I have decided to choose my own. My #oneword2017 is:

Relentless

In the past, this word irritated me. It is the number one word that people have used to describe my personality (or some version of it: tenacious, persistent...) and I always felt it carried a negative connotation. I'd connect it to other things people have said to me: "Why are you constantly thinking about that?" or "Why are you so obsessed with (insert anything here)?" or "Just give it up already!" because I didn't know how to give up. Then I realized...I didn't know how to give up! I could look at being relentless as negative, or I could turn it into a positive personality trait that would guide me in times where giving up is the easy thing to do. Times when other people might give up. Luckily for me, I don't do easy. Why? Because I'm relentless.

Jennifer Hogan (a seriously intelligent and kind woman whom I hope to be like one day) posted this quote on Twitter to support her new three word blog post (that you can find here), and I felt it was fitting for the pivot I needed to do in order to rework the definition to be a positive trait:

It's all about changing my mindset.

My one word this year will guide me in my new career...relentless in creating a new culture within my department which will be more effective in giving teachers and students the tools they need to learn and be innovative thinkers and problem finders. Relentlessness will allow me to come back from failure stronger and smarter than I was prior, and be proud of any gains that I make in the process versus disgusted at not being successful the first time. Hopefully, if I model this trait, others will see the value in it, too.

I will be relentless in my personal life...balancing all of the facets of my family, career, new endeavors, relationships while continuing to try my best to be kind, empathetic, caring and giving. When I'm down and feeling like I'm not good enough for what I am trying to accomplish, relentlessness will move me past that to see what I can do to be better.

I choose to view being relentless as having courage to go on when others won't, to continue to try to create real change even when it is difficult, and to continue to love, encourage and support others when they don't see the value in moving forward.

Us vs Them on #satchatwc

It always amazes me how a single comment on Twitter can bring on a blog post.

This morning I woke up and did what I do almost every Saturday morning...I got myself a cup of coffee and sat down to read through Twitter posts. The chat #satchatwc was going on, and the participants are some of my favorite #PLN people, so I decided to jump in and attempt to catch up. The theme was "Us vs Them" and the discussion questions revolved around how we recognize this kind of behavior and ultimately stop it. Us vs them involves any groups of people where it's possible that they are not on the same page to support student learning. This could be parents vs teachers, teachers vs admin, or even teachers vs teachers.

If you haven't participated in a Twitter chat, it's amazing how when you're in the right one with the right people, your mind can be swimming with ideas and realizations by the end. Sometimes all it takes is one tweet. In this case, the tweet was this one that involved Dr. Clint Freeman & one of my favorite people, Shelley Burgess:

The part of Clint's tweet that resonated with me was the idea that the contributor to an us vs them mentality is the lens from which we view what happens around us...our perspective. Since I've entered education, I have been fortunate enough to be able to look through many different lenses. It has given me perspective that other people may not have. My first job was as a Family and Consumer Science teacher in middle school. During that time, I would have categorized the role I had as a teacher vs teacher. I often felt like the grade level teachers thought I "only" taught FACE while they did the "real" work. Not all teachers feel this way, but in the school I worked in at the time, this was the climate. I also worked as an elementary teacher, an instructional support teacher, and finally, my newest position in admin. I would say that in every position at every level, there was the feeling of an us vs them. The only thing that changed was who the "them" was.

It took me less than a month to experience this difference in perspective in my current position. The other day, a teacher said to me, "So, how do I go about getting a cushy office job like yours?" to which I had to choose between several responses that went through my head. I could have responded by telling that teacher that I was only running through the teacher's lounge in order to get to the office copier, eating a granola bar for my lunch after getting up at 4:15am for the last month in order to get to work early, or how I hadn't seen my kids three days out of the previous week because I had left before they got up in the morning and came home from work after they went to bed, or I could have told him that when I finally did make it to bed, I collapsed in exhaustion but would still wake up at 3:11am thinking about everything I couldn't get done in a day. But, I didn't. I wasn't about to perpetuate any kind of preconceived notions he had about administration, nor would it have done anything for the relationships and trust I have been trying to cultivate during the first month in my position. So, I smiled and kept walking. Plus, my guess is that there have been times he's done this same thing for his students.

Was that the right response? I have no idea. Some people think that admins should have all the answers. The truth is: I'm just trying to do the best I can for the teachers and students I serve. Just like everyone else in education.

As an Technology Integrator, people would often come up to me while I was working on my computer and start conversations with, "While you're not doing anything...". What they didn't understand was that I was making a quick instructional video or creating PD for teachers or researching an educational technology tool for a teacher, but their perspective was that I wasn't really working because I was on my computer. That's ok, it was their perspective. What I've found as I've moved positions is that this kind of thing comes from not understanding what another person does in a day. Teachers, without a doubt, have the craziest days. So many kids, so many standardized tests, so little time to go to the bathroom...but in every position I have experienced days where I wasn't really sure I'd make it through the day with my sanity. Sometimes, it's just a different kind of crazy busy. 

I believe that where we begin to misunderstand each other is when major decisions are made where all the information isn't available to everyone and there isn't a culture where trust has been established. I have already made decisions that have not been popular. The hardest decisions usually aren't. I try to let the question, "Is it supporting student learning" to guide me, and there are factors where sometimes what's happening absolutely does not support student learning. Not everyone always understands these factors, though, and it's not that I'm not willing to be transparent, and I will always provide anyone with the why behind my decisions, but rather that we need to start trusting each other to be professionals and make the best decisions for students. If that trust is broken, then that builds on the us vs them mentality. So, as usual, my conclusion is that, like everything else, the us vs them mentality begins and ends with relationships (or a lack thereof) and trust. The best way to develop empathy is to actually walk in a position's shoes, but second to that is building a culture where all "groups" have faith in each other's decisions. As an admin specifically, if you've built trust in staff by being consistent in decision-making (all decisions are guided by the mission, vision, and what's best for all learners), being visible and involved in classrooms, and knowing staff both personally and professionally, they don't need to have walked a day in your shoes in order to trust your decisions. They are more likely to trust in you, and in turn your decisions, and hopefully that reduces (if not eliminates) the Us vs Them mentality.

I Just Met You But I Love You

I often joke and say I "don't keep friends". Really, I mean that I put so much effort into my profession and my family that I often don't have time to really cultivate relationships with others in the way that, in the past, I would have considered someone to be a friend, which really begs the question, what exactly is a friend?

Recently, Julie Smith posed this question in a Tweet: can you be friends with people online? People you've never actually met? Before really diving into Twitter, I might have said no. I mean, how can you be friends with someone you've never even made eye contact with. But, since reexamining what a friend means to me, I'd argue that you can absolutely be friends with people you've never met. Relationships can be formed online. Meaningful ones, even.

All my friends have certain roles. My best friend, Dawn, is the one I call when I need to vent or want to do something crazy (I dragged her with me when I got my first tattoo, for example). My friend, Kristi, is someone that if I ever got into a boxing match, she'd be the one that would let me tap out. She's a tough chick and also one of the smartest people I know. My friend, Anne, is someone that will guaranteed make me laugh until I spit out all my green tea to the point where I struggle sitting by her in meetings, and my friend Matt will help me with anything I need anytime I need it, sometimes even before I know I need it.

At first Twitter allowed me to fill the personalized PD void and connected me with others who both challenged my thinking and inspired me to be a better educator than I was. And it was great. I would see people Tweet about their "tribe" and how they "loved" other Tweeters, and I was all like, "What? You've never even seen that person?" Then, one glorious day, I found the #personalizedPD chat and my entire perspective changed. Instantly, I loved these people. I'm convinced that Mandy, for example, is my personality doppleganger. I think that God made one of us and said, "Whoa, that one turned out pretty well. I'm going to try that recipe again." (Of course, she must've been the second one made because he made some modifications to make her funnier - #jealous). Jason & Kenny have welcomed me with open arms and take my teasing and off-topic-ness like champs. They have even invited me (and by invite I mean I had to beg a little) into their Voxer personalized PD group.

So, my perspective on what constitutes a friend has changed. Sometimes I think people use the words "friend" and "acquaintance" interchangeably, but these people have definitely made their way into fulfilling a role in both my personal and professional lives. And really, when it comes down to it, what difference does it make what we label people as long as they make us happy and support us in our journey.